Family Spotlight: Why Room to Grow is Special
by Veridiana Montas, 2017 Program Graduate and New York Parent Advisory Council (PAC) member
Imagine yourself feeling lost and seemingly without a purpose. Until suddenly, a purpose appears and you are happy and afraid at the same time. How will you provide for your new purpose? Can you handle the responsibility when you are very much in the dark and unsure? Now imagine a light ahead, and as you walk toward it, you see a sign that tells you everything will be okay. For me, that light was Room to Grow.
When I found out I was pregnant with my firstborn son, I didn’t know that a program like Room to Grow even existed. My partner and I felt it was important for our older son, Cruz, to have a sibling and we decided to have a second child, Oliver. At times, I questioned the decision because we knew it would be hard, but I didn't realize how much more challenging it would be. Wanting to be good parents was not enough. We needed the tools to help us get there. Luckily for my family, Room to Grow came into our lives in the nick of time and provided us with more than just material goods. Eunice Cruz became our clinician and she guided me over the next three years. She taught me how to take care of my overall mental health, which made me a better mom. I went from a stressed pregnant lady and mother of one to a mother of two who had something to look forward to every three months.
Veridiana with sons Cruz and Oliver.
As Oliver grew, waves of anxiety hit me. Was he hitting milestones? Was I providing all the tools he needed? I wish I had known back then that all I needed to do was look around my house and I would have seen that Room to Grow had been providing him with everything he needed all along. From the books I read to him at night, to the blocks he played with every morning, to the clothes he wore each day, I did have the support and everything I needed. And if I ever had any doubts about my parenting and questioned whether I was a good mother, Eunice was there to talk some sense into me. “Just love him and let him know he is loved,” she would say, “that’s the most important thing — I’ll help you figure out the rest.” In the end, sometimes that is what a parent needs the most: someone to help them figure out the rest — the stuff that’s not in material goods. That’s what Room to Grow is all about. When the stress of “how will I be able to provide (fill in the blank)'' is removed, it becomes exponentially easier to love one another. And even though my older son, Cruz, was not officially part of the program, he benefited too. I was able to use all of the tips and tricks that I learned for Oliver with Cruz because they were close in age and often shared clothes and toys.
The moment I graduated from the program was bittersweet. I had to say goodbye to a space that, over three years, provided my boys and me with a space of solace. It was a small sanctuary where we explored our needs and growth. At the same time, my graduation meant room for a new mother and family, and that made me happy. Most likely, they would be in the dark and afraid just like I was in the beginning.
If I could speak to that family today, I would tell them to come into the light that is Room to Grow and have comfort in the knowledge that, though nothing will be perfect, for the next three years, everything will be okay with Room to Grow.